The Significant Things I Have Learned This 2007

My life would be empty if I know I didn’t learn on a life that I have lived this year. I am asking for more. I am not yet satisfied. But I need to practice right now of having the positive attitude: seeing the life hall full rather than half empty..

So here are the top Five significant things I have learned this year:

1. The best thing that you can do to your friend is not to give yourself, not to give a shoulder in times of despair, not to give them support when they need it, but to let go of them when you think they need to grow.

-In this year, three of my significant left me to explore the other places. My friend Con and Nikki are now in Manila. My friend Jane is now living in Canada for good. Her family left the Phils last July. And now, another new friend is about to leave to stay with her family in Manila. I will be sad. It will cost me tears and pain. But just like scars caused by this hurt of leaving, our friendship that we have is hard to destroy by distance. My friends, no matter how far they are will always have a soft spot in my heart.

-When I get to hear them after long months of not getting in touch with one another, it makes me happy knowing that they are becoming a better person. I know my friends deserve to receive the blessings God has showered for them. And I cannot provide it for them alone.

2.) Happiness will not come if you will just wait for it. Happiness is in you when you choose it. Choose happiness. In order to choose it, you need three things: the power to shift your perspective into a positive one, love for yourself, and inner peace.

-It’s inevitable we are having a bad hair day. If you still choose to be happy despite that you are having a shitty day, it will save you from the hours of frustration. You can’t simply choose. Look for something that will make you happy. If things are not going well, you just have to ask, what can I gain/learn from this? By changing your perspective, you will loose if you choose to loose, rather, you will gain more.

-Love yourself first and happiness will come naturally. You don’t need people to make you happy. Because even if you have them, you will still feel a huge void of emptiness and dissatisfaction if you don’t love yourself.

-Happiness starts from a heart that feels nothing but abundant joy, love, and peace. A heart where hate and grudge has no space for it. Let go of hate. Forgive often, and you will find the inner peace that will give you the happiness you can never imagine existed.

3.) Faith and Hope co-exist. Faith without hope is useless. Hope without faith brings uncertainty, doubt, and confusion. Hope strengthens faith. Faith justifies hope.

-Faith springs from the longing of the soul and so is hope. Hope allows us to enter on the world of the impossible, and make it real.

-Who says faith and doubt are opposite? Doubt is the element of faith. When you are hearing a bad gossip about someone you know? Do you usually believe the ones who tell you the gossip immediately or doubt if he or she is telling the truth? When you have faith on person, you always have reservation ..oh he may be like this or like that..he’s not like that before..maybe he is… When you have faith on someone, he is the only truth for you. You postpone your judgment unless you hear him speak.

-Hope is believing. Hope is overstepping on the realm of the unknown. Hope and expectation are different. When you expect, you push to see the outcome. Hope believes more than what is visible. Expectation springs from mind while hope gathers strength from the heart.

4.) You want to spend money with while feeling significant? Spend it with people you really love or someone that is so special for you and the outcome and result are more rewarding that what you expected. If you are to spend on the less essential stuff, make sure you share it with someone who shares the same interest with you.

-I know I am not the only one in this world who feels like this. For most of the breadwinners like me, we sometimes complain, thinking that we don’t have much left for us. We work and a big portion of our salary goes to our family. Sometimes, it is hard to buy expensive clothes thinking that it can still add up for you family expenses. But I realize I don’t have to worry. I am not earning that big, I don’t usually buy grand clothes every time I receive my salary, but I am still happy knowing that I helped them. Buying pasalubong to my family brings us closer together.

-I love bands and I love to but their CDs. But I don’t have a player. So I let my brother use it and so his old time friend. When I went home, that’s our bonding time, listening to the music only the two of us can appreciate.

5.) For the book readers, don’t just read. Don’t just memorize what you’ve read. Don’t just store it inside you brain. Learn from the books. Share it or discuss it with somebody. And most of all, transform it to the fabrics of your life. Yeah! You heard it right! Use what you’ve learned and practice it on your daily life.

-I have read so many books. And so far, there are so many things that I’ve learned from them. And most of their theories, I have already concretized it on my own life. I choose to share it with you. I hope you learn something from it. Most popular authors that influence me a lot are Stephen Covey, John Maxwell, Jonathan Kellerman, Ayn Rand, Ron Jenson, Deepak Chopra, Kahlil Gibran, and philosophers such as Plato, Aristotle, Friedrich Hegel, Soren Kierkegaard, St. Thomas Aquinas and a whole lot more.

And this learning is just a few. But hence, a proof that I am applying what I read on my practical living and finally share it with you.

i choose to be happy!!!woohooo!!!

I don’t know how to start my day without writing. I don’t know..i just want to release this..I don’t know if I pity myself .. I don’t know if im angry.. I don’t wanna blame anyone except myself for feeling like hell once again… One thing I know for sure is I don’t want to start my day with gloomy mood like this or it will just ruin the rest fo my day..

Wow! How can I be so cruel to myself again when I just read a book about being happy.. But first, I wanna thank God for this wonderful day.. for giving me another chance to fell how much He loves me and how much he want me to enjoy the kind of life that He prepared for me today… Whatever happens, I wanna thank Him for this brand new day..I praise Him and thank Him for the life that I have….

I think its about ll the power to choose.. I nid to choose to be happy…by shifting my paradigm to a positive perspective.. for me it really takes a challenge..

Im suppose to hate a guy..but my heart refuse to..why is that??I am not like this…!!my old self will feel this.. but I don’t want to take care of this hate inside my heart for it will only poison my soul..well, the miracle of faith..you will never know how faith works until you experience it…

Im happy today..listening to the song Your Guardian Angel by Red Jumpsuit Apparatus..Am I looking for someone to be my angel that will sing this song for me? Or I want to be an angel for someone? I don’t know but I know this was dictated by my subconscious and unconscious…

I will never let you fall, ill stand up with you forever…ill be there for you through it all..even when saving you sends me to heaven…

How cute!!Well thanks for this song for it makes me strong in spite that I am experiencing emotional disturbance…hmm,, well well well!!!I guess I just want to enjoy my life today.. nobody wants to be lonely..hahahaha!!who wants to be lonely? Certainly nobody unless you choose to be..no way highway!! I am soo tired of crying for guys who are not worthy of my tears..

Yeah I think I have to recognize that I am hurt..but that’s how life is gonna shove us if we choose to..its the hardball of life but I nid to keep on moving..keep living..and kip believing in love!! It’s the only way for you to gain true inner peace within yourself…

a WOndERfuL sOLemN vIsIT

Wew!Im not in good mood to write today but my why is my fingers are urging to touc the keyboard.. I guess this bloody mind has something to say again…Go ahead..I’m not able to read the book because I just had an important date with the Lord last night…But I guess that won’t stop me from having another non sense entry on this blog.. Shall I post it??

I think I just have to choose to be happy.. Why not? My boarding haws becomes an essential part of my spirituality now.. not just a place to rest, sleep, and live while I’m hir in Legaspi… Last night, my roommate and I become the host of Bible study. We regularly meet at Dunkin Donuts. But I guess things need to change a bit.. We need to look for more conducive place to worship Him..

Oh my gosh! I can’t believe how happy I am because my room is organized for a couple of days now. wow!! Unbelievable..!!! I always see to it that my room is clean and all is well before I leave it. That’s why when we are anticipating visitors; it wasn’t hard for me to prepare our room for solemn worship. My Lord is about to come to our house, it needs to be special!!! So I clean the room again, scrub the floor, put a white cloth on it and keep the things on its proper places.

But I have to confess that I am thinking of the grup first.. Not really the visiting of the Lord.. I am thinking if they will be comfortable.. I am first and foremost considering the conduciveness and the warmth of the room so everything goes very well during the study..Although its not that bad..but He must come first..Did He like it?How I accepted these pipol to worship Him? Oh my!Forgive me Lord God..But I still have vigil candles left I bought last Holy week.. So I ignite the three little candles and put them on a cute blue sky plate to make them more attractive..

Can I make up to yah Lord? I’ll do it better next time…I’ll do it for you and the group will just be my secondary goal next to you.

Before I end this blog, I need to say this to You Jesus, my Savior, thank you for coming into my life when I choose to accept You.. Thank You for sharing Your precious time with us.. I thank You from the bottom of my heart.. And right now, I wanna thank you for visiting our simple room. It’s so simple. We don’t have grand possessions to welcome you..Only our warmth and sincerity to welcome You is all we have..Only Thank You so much my Dear Lord..just don’t make me cry at this very moment plssss….You just don’t know how much You make me happy.. I am sooooo very blessed in thousands ways I could never imagine..I feel I don’t have the right to deserve You..But I am wholeheartedly overwhelmed by Your love my Lord.. Oh how I miss You..Oh how I miss the solemn nights..It was a couple of years ago…Thank You my Lord for visiting us.. Hope to meet You again next week.

The Bondage Breaker Insights Continues…

I’m moving on to the chapter two of the Bondage Breaker by Neil Anderson entitled Finding Your Way to the World. This chapter talks about the presernce of spiritual dark forces existing on this earth. I am not forcing anyone to belive nor I am hir to convince you of their reality. Whether you accept it or not, these dark spiritual forces keep on lurking on our world.

We are alive in flesh and we have spirits. So as these dark creatures. They have spirits, they don’t have flesh but they have the power to hurt us without knowing it. If we try to live on the extreme, we are in deep trouble. One pole is living on a two tier world and living in the excluded middle. Both of them are trying to exclude or ignore the presence of these spirits on our material world. The opposite extreme is trying to be spiritual without the presence of God. This includes the New Age Movement, mysticism, chants, sorcerers, parapsychology, and numerous cults. If we try to live spiritual without God, this is the easiest path to ignore His presence, and worse, you are leading to worship Satan. But you need not be afraid for there are ways to combat them and win the battle by God’s will.

The author identifies 6 ways:

1.) denying yourself: denying oneself is denying self-rule..this means that you try giving up the desire to be God. We can be God-like but we can never be god no matter how hard we try…it entail a complete dependence of God so you may function according to how God designed you to be..this is one of vitals of spiritual

2.) pick up your cross daily: it doesn’t mean that you have to suffer. It is carrying the Christ’s cross, not your own. It means that we acknowledge that we belong to God. Carrying the Christ’s cross is affirming that our identity is based from our relationship with God.

“I have been crucified with Christ; and it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the son of God, who loved and gave Himself up for me” (Galatians 2:20)

3.) Follow Christ: this is to follow Christ in everything that we do..by His will and by asking His guidance, we can follow him little by little although this journey is not easy.

4.) Sacrifice the lower life to gain the higher life: our modern world focus on the material things. We nid to give up the desire to get all of them. Seek things that God wants you to have. the things that you will need fro eternal life

5.) Sacrifice the pleasure of things to gain the pleasures of life: use things and zero in on caring pipol, not care with your possessions and use pipol for your own greedy interest. Can you trade you title, power, position, wealth and fame in exchange of enduring love, patience, health, peace, happiness and so on?

6.) Sacrifice the temporal to gain the eternal: this is giving up the tings that are tangible, the things that are temporary for they are so easy to vanish.. focus cultivating enduring and long lasting values that will guarantee us an eternal life..

These ways many not be easy. There is no even shortcut. Through this challenging journey, we are inviting the courage, perseverance and commitment to stand amidst all consequences that might threaten us not to pursue them. You can start this little by little and by believing on yourself.

The Bondage Breaker

I am currently reading the book by Neil Anderson entitled The Bondage Breaker. The book generally talks about overcoming all the strong destructive elements that keeps on trapping us to habitual sins. Such factors would include strong bad habitual patterns, irrational thoughts and feelings, as well as the external forces brought by environment but most specially the dark forces.

There are several books that allows me to become more mature but I think this will be one of the most challenging and controversial book that I am about to read for I will be equipped with powerful tools to battle the evil forces.. Yeah, the evil ones.. I started the very first chapter and something bad happens. Well I am not insinuating that the Bondage Breaker has a curse. This book serves as an offensive move. Last night, I dreamed of two snakes. I used to drim snakes but now they bite me. I know this is not going to be easy. But I remember my frend said to me. This is the only way to win d battle, to meet them on the eye. Not to keep on running from them.

This book is not mine. I am borrowing it from my workmate but I loose my patience on try borrowing it again and again. Well, needless to say, I am bound to read this book even though my intention to borrow it simply fade away. But God is good. After few days, my workmate brought this Bondage Breaker book and got the chance to read it right after my work.

To begin sharing what I read from this book, well I am just starting but I feel the need to share it with others..

=let me share with you the common misconceptions about the bondage..these are the faulty ideas that keeps my fellow Christians in darkness

1. Demons were active when Christ was on earth, but their activity was subsided

2. What the early church called demonic activity we now understand is the mental illness

3. Some problems r psychological while some are spiritual

4. Christians cannot be affected by demons

5. Demonic influence is only evident in extreme or violent behavior and gross sin

6. Freedom from spiritual bondage is the result of the power encounter with demonic forces

According to the author of this book, we don’t need to defeat the demons because Christ has already did it for us when He died on the cross and resurrect on the third day. All we need to do is to believe that Jesus Christ is our true savior. Faith. Faith in belief and action. This is what we need.

TAKING A SIP OF COFFEE IN A MUG

Oh my gosh!dnt let me go back on my torturous system..Oh my!! I don’t wanna go back there. I nid to start this..achive personal significance for the day despite of a gloomy day. I’m so thankful that I have a decent sleep last night. And I wanna thank God for that. Right now I feel sooo nervous..oh heck! Enough! I wanna be completely over with the things that kip on bugging me..

No way!!! I feel so incomplete again but no way!! I don’t wanna go back to that.. No way!! Whew!! Why is that everytime I am going to write I should be writing about him..hahahahaha!!! LOL!! I don’t want to suppress..well I guess I just wanna enjoy it.. But I think I nid to keep away from sumthing that will allow me to remember him more.. Oh how I wish those times..my kagagahan times..haha!!musta nmn un? I cant help but laugh at them most specially at myself.. And now, I don’t wanna deny that this nervousness kip on coming back on me when in fact we just chat yesterday..

Oh hell!! This means that sumthing is wrong w me… I don’t know how will I define it. Eerrrrr…or I think its d bagyo..haha..

But allow me to stick on my personal goal.. Its one of the destruction so I nid to eradicate it out of my system.

I don’t know why my mind is soooo tired yesterday.. Maybe because Im sooo tired of thinking…wew!! I can’t even enjoy because I was bothered by my anxiousness about the typhoon.. Somehow, I know d weather is affecting me. I don’t wanna write nor even post this nonsense entry but this is what’s happening to me right now… I feel so sleepy..

But wait! I remember from the book im reading, in every problem, there is an alternatives that you can choose to do you just have to identify the right move for yah..am I making sense now?? Hmmm. A little??? Better….

How about sipping my favorite coffee??? Why not? So il get back in a minute and lets see whats gonna happen next…

Wow!!Just imagining how my coffee tastes excites me..har har har!!wow!!! its really delicoois..now I feel better… wow!!i congratulate myself again for I am applying what Ive learned from the book Im reading..

When I fell bored early in d morning, sipping my fave coffee is d answer..hahaha..but what happen if coffee is not around?nahhh!!lets just think it when it really happens..haha…

Wow!!Sipping coffee is like sipping the joys of life inspite of our daily adversaries… Its sooo gloomy outside but this coffee helps me to get a little better… and the more you enjoy it, the more you appreciate it..my coffee is like that..d more I drink it the more it taste delicious.. everything that is ordinary can really make a difference it you learn to be a little more appreciative.. just like what im doing with my fave coffee..oh wow!! This is my first time to write about it..hahaha!!now this entry is now making sense..lol!!

Oh how I imagine Jesus Christ is with me.. we’re simply chatting.. or just share this simple coffee to enjoy the company of each other… what will I say to Him? He is not talking to me.. But He continuously sip His coffee but His eyes met mine and just smile.. Well I guess I just have to savor this moment being with me without necessarily talking. Is He doing the same thing???? I don’t want Him to go but I got tongue-tied. I just want to see Him… All of Him.. He knows whats inside my heart..

Now I see a child in me. Too hesitant to reach out to His father but her longing to be with Him is intense… I don’t know what to say… Im just sipping my coffee and just look at Him.. He didn’t say anything. He just look at me.. And say, “I am so near. I was just waiting for you to call me.. I’ve been waiting for you to call my name. Where have you been? Im missing you a lot. I am soo near yet you kip on running away from me.”

I don’t know what to say.. I don’t even know if this is just my imagination or there is sumthing that makes me imagine it.

But right now, I feel this inner peace.. I am not troubled nor bothered for I know that He’s with me…

A VICTIM OR A VICTOR? YOU HAVE THE POWER TO CHOOSE

Right now, I just wanna be in control..I just realize that I am so cruel to myself. Yeah I’ve been hurt by so many pipol and treated like a piece of crap and shit… I know I can’t easily move on.. But I don’t wanna get revenge with this hatred that I feel for them.. Sometimes, I realize that I can be so numb, never care what will they feel..Oh my!! I don’t wanna be a psychopath!!! I want this over and done…

Now I choose to be a victor and not a victim… I don’t want to let it happen again.. Now I will take charge of myself.. Oh how I wish I will not hold nor bear any stains of grudge against them..Wait a minute..one at a time first… I need to deal with my old pains.. I wanna move on.. I wanna put them aside for they are one of the obstacles that keep my away from achieving my personal significance. And I wanna start it right now at this gloomy day.. It’s a good start to at least stay away first on hurting pipol…

I remember the book I read, its about achieving healthy relationship with other pipol written by my fave author John Maxwell..hurt pipol are hurting pipol… I was hurt that is why I have the tendency to hurt too.. And vice versa.. But the good thing is, at least I am learning to see things from the perspective of other pipol.. Its also written on his book entitled Winning with People.. Woah!! I congratulate myself for I was able to inculcate this learning and transcend it to the fabrics of my life… Sometimes you really need to see it from the perspective of others..

Yes, I have to admit that I have the tendency to get even with them but I know it won’t work out.. There are pipol hum I wanna let them know how much they hurt me..But to others, I just prefer to stay away from them. I don’t wanna see them.. But Im working on my hate or enmity towards them.. I just wann forgive them and move on.. And finally thank them for hurting me because I know that I can learn sumthing from them that I may never realize yet.. But I sumhow owe it to them..

Jesus said to love your enemies.. He also said that wen they curse you, bless them.. Oh its darn hard..Im not here to talk about religions.. But what Jesus is saying is true and practical. It is only by loving and forgiving them you can find the authentic inner peace. What is then the reward if you will only love your frends and those hu love you? Makes sense? Hmmm..well I am not hir to really discuss the teaching of the Bible but Jesus Christ is right after all…I have to love them..But I have to admit its tooooooooooooooo damn haaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrdddddddd…aaarrrrrrrggghhhhh!!!!!its like saying NO WAY HIGHWAY!!!!!!!

But it’s the only way…To make it easier, just do it for yourself first and not for them..After all this is the very first rison why you will do it.. You need to erase all the negative emotional baggage that will hamper you to achieve what you want. HATE for OTHER will only poison you soul, you personality, including your overall perspective about the world..

NOW STOP!!!I don’t want to entertain them…. And I can do it!! Yeah!!!

For the meantime, I wanna take charge of myself.. I wanna heal..But healing should start on your desire to be healed, to move on, and to forgive others to start your new life and to live life that was meant for you..

I am now in control.. I wanna take charge.. I don’t wanna blame different persons for what I am and for what I cannot do.. I don’t wanna be a victim..

Right now, I am claiming that this VICTORY IS MINE THIS TIME BY GOD’S WILL…This is what I choose.. This is the freedom God has given to me and I need to be a responsible steward of this freedom He has give to me……

tHe aTTiTuDE oF gRaTiTuDe

Argh!!what the hell is happening to me? I realize how ungrateful I am on my life that I lead.. for the past few weeks I was consumed by hatred to all those people who treats me like shit and piece of crap… what can I do? I didn’t exist to please them.. please HATE, GO AWAY!!! I don’t want you to poison my soul.. the more I hate them, the more I make myself miserable with their bullshits.. I wanted to move on but its not working out.. Lord God please help me forgive them.. I wanted to live a new life.. Please don’t take it away from me..

I wanna be alone.. I don’t wanna hide.. Its just I want to spend time alone..i will not analyze yet.i will stop thinking first..i just want to have a decent rest and sleep..and peace of mind, not piece of mind..hehe..

I know no matter how tough the life is, I should never fail to realize that I am blessed enough with more than I deserve. Despite of the pain that I feel, I know I have more than a million of reasons to be thankful that I am living a meaningful life.. It’s a matter of accepting that life is full of surprises in so many forms.. Its all up to you how r you gonna handle them creatively…

I refuse to welcome this HATE..GO AWAY!!!!! I was greatly stunned with the book that im reading, Make a Life, Not Just a Living.. In everyday life experience, we need to develop the attitude of gratitude.. problems make us tough and creative.. problems teaches us life lessons.. our hurts and troubles helps us how to be humble.. my pain teaches me to be more concern and caring.. my old hurts teaches me to reach out to others more than thinking about myself… being grateful allows me to appreciate the beauty of the life that im living.. im the only one hu has the right to live this by God’ will and plan..

WHEW!!! I can’t believe im breathing again the beauty of my life..its not perfect, its not full of happiness, but I have all the power and creativity to make it worth living in every seconds.. Im soooo grateful that there are people who love me, keep on loving me, and still love me no matter what.. Im soooo grateful that I have a magnificent and great God that incredibly designed it for me.

Not bad!!! I may have hurts.. I may be troubled.. but that won’t stop me from being HAPPY because I know God wants me to be.. thanks for this trouble because it helps me to seek more God..

oh that’s tough!!! It’s the ATTITUDE OF GRATITUDE

untitled

Its been a long time that I wasn’t able to write on my friggin blogspot.. im hurtin yesterday… I guess this is what you will feel wen someone special for you has the other someone… im not suppose to feel this way and I don’t have the right to feel this..Brendan’s not my bf..im not his gurl though he used to call me “my gurl” bullshit. I guess its just an endearment or he really mean it..he claimed me as one of his gf..oh fuck!!whatever it is, I really don’t give a piece of shit!!! Well I guess this is the time wen I really just want to keep him as a frend or totally get him out of my friggin system..But I have to admit that in a short span of time he really change my world.. I sumhow owe it to him.. But I don’t want to expect or else il be damned frustrating myself..

I know that im jealous knowing that he has so many gfs, bimbos..oh whatever!!! I think im one of those.. but right now I really don’t give a fucking damn… I don’t have the right to feel this but this is how I feel.. that means that I really fell in love with him.. and its damn hurting.. but at least I was wide awake that he can never be mine not even in a million years.. someone’s better deserves my love more than him… how can I be so daydreamer..no its more than that!! What’s the English term of “ilusyunada”? yeah I felt sumhow like that and I really felt so ashamed… huwaaaaaa….. I don’t know if its my dignity as a woman that stands out that time or pride or my will to really get over with him… he has other priority..its the other gurl that he chats and he replies w me late? Now how about that?

Its indirectly saying that im just one of those that belongs to his least priority.. maybe not like that.. its just that there is some other woman in his life.. im happy for them that they get along very well but im hurting for myself..oh my!! Im soooo hurting..its painful.. he tells me that he is busy..yeah its true..busy chatting with other woman.. I don’t have the right to question him so I just say goodbye to him and haul my ass on work… well at least I have the last ditch of effort to keep my self-preservation..

I think that’s one way of letting go of him… so I give way not to disturb them..i don’t wanna be an intruder.. besides, I deserve a man better than him.. and I think though it hurts a lot, Brendan and that gurl really looks perfect for each other in every way.. the gurl belongs to his own race, with a blood of a countess or a princess, and belongs to the higher society ranks.. more than this, I think she is a model, a cover gurl to be exact..

Well, Im still thankful to get this courage to leave him earlier and focus on my work.. its soooo unfair waiting for him damn message to come wen I know he is just busy chatting with other gurls.. im just the last priority..well I will never allow that..besides he is just my online frend.. well I guess im not really that broken.. at least he is not totally out of reach.. I was just thankful because somehow I was gaining back my concentration at work.. I really need to do this..i love my work so much and I wasn’t about to neglect this because of him…but I really have to deal with this pain..im still hurting..i can’t help but cry.. oh God! I wanna cry.. You know every well that I was toooo hurting… it’s still painful… I just want this over and done… just give me the courage to stand up and moved on..

Well at least..im starting to move on though im still hurt.. now that I’ve admitted that I really unexpectedly fall in live with him.. it needs to be NOW!!!! So I need now to go back to work…

i feel so darn pretty today

well, im in good mood to write now..im just enjoying the level of freedom that i have right now.. i felt so D-A-M-N PRETTY!!... i guess wen u allow yourself to feel that you're ugly and you keep on comparing yourself with others, you will be disappointed..

i guess i just really need a self search wen i always do this.. i always think and analzye.. i guess i just need to savor this moment..

i dont know why i felt so damn pretty..haha!! after d destructions, the ups and downs.. well i guess these negative elements don't have a place here in my column.. i just realize that wen you are someone, a woman of darn substance, no man will ever forget you no matter how bastard or son-0f-a-bitch he is... how much if man learns how to appreciate a woman.. well, i guess i really need to experience the feeling of being ugly so that i will appreciate myslef more..

mwah!!i felt so darn cute!!hihihi!! not physically, but emotionally.. sometimes its really your emotions that will really put you in deep shit!

before you can love a man, you need to love youself, first as a woman, you'll be admired naturally.. it will truly show....you really dont need to be admired though but they will, naturally... just stay sweet, simple and confident..

woman, u're more than just your pair of tits, an adorable pussy to lust and drool over, more than just a pretty creation in a facade of makeups and lipsticks..
you are more than that.. you deserve to be respected, lover, admired, and adored,
because you're a woman that you are..

show the real you as a woman, your confidence, sweetness, and of course your sweet smile..
it can really lift up a downhearted soul...

so woman, keep shinin' and stay naturally beautiful as you are always!!!

its time to be corn...

If I Let You Go Lyrics

day after day

time pass away

and I just can't get you off my mind

nobody knows

I hide it inside

I keep on searching but i can't find

the courage to show

to letting you know

I've never felt so much love before

and once again I'm thinkin' about

takin' the easy way out

but if I let you go

I will never know

what my life would be

holding you close to me

will I ever see

you smiling back at me

oh yeah

how will I know

if I let you go

night after night

I hear myself say

why can't this feeling just fade away

there's no one like you

you speak to my heart

it's such a shame

we're worlds apart

I'm too shy to ask

I'm too proud to lose

but sooner or later I've gotta choose

and once again

I'm thinkin' about

taking the easy way out

but if I let you go

I will never know

what my life would be

holding you close to me

will I ever see

you smiling back at me

oh yeah

how will I know

if I let you go

if I let you go, oh baby

oooh

yEaH!!!proBabLy yOu can LaUgh @ mY aSS wHile reAding ThiS bUt don’t giVe a fUckIng dAMn…

beCauSe im DoIn d SamE tHiNg..LOL!!!

it’s C-R-A-Z-Y, but it really FeLt dAmn GuD!!

We’LL I GuEss Im jUst a frIggin UnPredictable.. OnE momenT Ur HaPpy and aNother minute Ur saD.. Well I gUess ThIs Is Life..a rolleR CoasTer Ride..haHa!!

I Guess I Just ned to savor it..KarL is rIght..Wyl ItS deR..juSt enjoy it..enJoy d feeling..donT suppress It..beCause You’Ll never know if YoU’Ll stiL feEl tHem aGain n d nEar future..

You’Ll never know if sumeone’s gonna make those emotions for you.. you’ll never know..you;ll never KnOW if its gonna Last for a Lifetime..

Emotions are Unpredictable..as unpredictable as Mhe…who knows? Will I be still d same stupid woman (that d way I wanna describe myself right now..) that falls on someone whom I ever hardly met, not to mention too far away..

I Used to Mock tHose pipOl who Chat and Fell in Love with thEir chATmates..now,,, I finallY rEALize thaT I now finally belong to them..well im not yet in love..its a combination of admiration and infatuation..

bRendAn..you have no idea what the fucking hell ur doin to mhe…

beCausE of you..one day I BecoMe a Sucker for OPM songs-which is soooo unMhe…

particularly with “Sundo” by Imago..I even tried to find it on my workmate coz I don’t have it on my pc!!!! Its soo uncooly cool!!!!whew!!!

aNd now, d stuffs I never heard a long time ago are coming back to me now..whew!!im a sucker for boybands a long time ago..before becoming a self-proclaimed rock addicto…

how uncool!!im too early for regression!!!that’s suppose to happen to me when I turned 60 or 70 FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!!!!

Whew!!pardon me..im just like this but im not really exaggerating…I guess d song “If I let you go” song just really suit my situation as well as my emotions right now..oh how right ate Nhing was!!(my crazy roommate hu happens to be crazy just like me, a twist on calamansi and a drop of a muriatic acid on my wounded heart)

There’s nothing wrong with Brendan..its my emotions, doin sumthing wrong with me..but how ironic it felt sooo damn fuckin good.!!! There sumthin wrong with mHe!! Damn you Brenddan!!but ur soooooo mudddafuckin yummy!! Ur simply irressistable..how I wish ur totally a motherfucking SON-OF-A-BITCH or a good-for-nothing crazy ASSHOLE…not like this!!! Ur sooo sweet..ur soooo thoughtful.. so gentle..so devastatingly handsome, gorgeous, Hot and ohh darn sexy….i cant blame my fellow specie..you can really inspire such wanting…

Well, I guess I just need to be thankful that im still a normal bitch who happens to feel this way..i felt this a long time ago..wen I was a teenager..i tot no man would ever manage to do what im feeling right now..i tot dis tickling emotions are dead, a long time ago…now I realize that I was wrong…

Brendan came in so swiftly, just like a gentle yet powerful wind..slowly penetrating on my long lost dead feelings..i tot no man will ever exist to make me fell this way..how wrong I was!! How lucky u can get Brendan..haha!!ur soooo lucky, while im not..well I guess im lucky too, in my own way..haha!! you have so many gurls in ur mind..while me..sumtimes its soo unfair but I guess its olright…it still felt damn good..

Till then Brenddan..thanks, for making another bold entry..haha!!

Now back to the song “if I let you go”..haha..well its really apt to my situation as well as my feelings for you.. how will I know if let u go…haha..its uppose to be over..i want this to end…but not yet?

Once again im thinking about

Taking the easy way out…

Yeah..coz I really want to get you off mind, totally get rid you out of my system..but I cant…

The courage to show of letting you know…

Haha!!ill be damned if I tell you this..no way!!!

night after night

I hear myself say

why can't this feeling just fade away

there's no one like you

you speak to my heart

it's such a shame

we're worlds apart

yeah..its stupid, we’re wolds apart..im hir in Philippines, he’s in another country..den I feel like this? I keep on rationalizing..sometimes I scolded myself for bein like this..

enough ok..enough..

just enjoy d moment..enjoy d feeling for now..have fun..keep him as an inspiration..dont expect for anything and wish for the best..

there’s nothing wrong with this feeling..there’s nothing wrong with the men we fall in love with..just don’t make ourselves miserable because if them..

poems of morbid and painful awakening

PRISONER OF FREEDOM
by Jason “The Saj” J. Epperson

I once was a free man
My mind was my own
Creating and thinking, are things I had known.
I once was a free man
My heart was my own
Sorrow and love, are things I had known.

I hiked through dense forests, and sailed the rough sea
With torrents of rain and the wind howling at me
It was here that I knew,
I knew I was free.

Now I am a prisoner
Nothing my own
Creating and thinking, to me are unknown.
Now I am a prisoner
Nothing my own
Sorrow and love, to me are unknown.

I walk through abhorrent creations of man,
Painted brick walls, part of an expanse of dimly lit halls.
It was here that I knew,
I knew I was not free.

I see a man in a nightmare
His mind not his own.
Thoughts in captivity, the outside unknown
I see a man in a nightmare
His heart not his own
The freedom to love to him is unknown

He lives life in a cubicle cell, which often resembles a painting of hell.
Silence so sacred, to utter a word, even to smile would be considered absurd.
It was here that he knew,
He knew he was not free.

A POEM
by Leighanne Quinn

Some things are indescribable with things of the heart.
But remembering memories ties the bounds of the weakness at heart.
I remember those times,
The times when I was lonely and thought of only darkness.

I remember you were there,
scaring away the ravaging beasts that fought for my soul.

I remember the time when I rocked back and forth with insanity,
trying to force the damaging thoughts away from my mind...
you were there.
Spreading your light and burning the beady little eyes of the
demons that were ripping at my soul.

I remember 9/11.
I remember the fear.
I remember the chaos.
I remember your love.
I remember thinking that I could call on you and you would immediately be there.
I remember thinking, there would be no fear if I were in that situation, because you
would guide me to my home.

I know now of blasphemy.
The same evil thoughts that contaminate children's and adult's minds alike.
I know that they lose site of you, but you never lose site of them.
Guiding them,
keeping your neglected heart beating inside of them.

I still remember things not so pleasant that had to come.
I remember the rampages,
I remember the fights,
I remember the fear,
I remember the tears.
I also remember you, My God, saving me from an unkempt mind.

I may not have a home here, but I know that you are my God, you are my family,
you are my home.

I see now, of your love.
I see now of your heart.
I see now that the very hearts, blood, and soul that are in us all...
is actually the effect of you giving up your son.

PSALM OF THE SHADOW DWELLER

aint my wings with blood O Lord

So that I may attract the lost and abandoned

Paint my wings with blood O Lord

So that I may show the freaks and misfits

That they belong

That they have a home

That they are loved

Paint my wings with blood O Lord

So that I may remember the one who shed it for me!

Paint my wings with blood O Lord

So that I may be corrupt no more!

Paint my wings with blood O Lord

Because right now,

You're all I ever want!

You're all I ever have!

You're all I ever need!

Without You O Lord

I am nothing!

But with You O Lord,

I am everything!

- Adam Flanagan

HE IS HER ANGEL

e is the one who heals broken hearts;

He is her angel when the yelling starts.

As she cry's he hold's her tight;

He will protect her when they start to fight.

Seeing through her eyes he saw the knife;

He knew she was going to end her life.

He opened his arms and held her tight;

that's when she began to see the light.

She spoke to him asking if he was God;

He looked at her and said yes with a nod.

He healed her broken heart;

and informed her that they shall never part.

- Heather Finch

IMITATION ANGEL

haven't got time to break down and I don't know how to erase

And there's one too many ghosts that occupy this space

There's a coffin filled with hate buried inside of me

At times I can feel the enmity on the verge of breaking free

It whispers to me, “You are just an imitation, you will never be real...

There's not a single soul that cares how you feel.”

White feathers shedding until they're all gone

Could there be a pedestal of hope to ever stand on?

Imitation angel embracing the darkness

Withered blooms of smiles turn my fear into a harness

I tread softly but beyond this realm I am dead

Like Sally, I am simply in pieces stitched together by a thread

With a faded pink heart sewn against my sleeve

I have found that my past was all make believe

Scribbling on pages flow like a stream beneath a bridge

A door to my soul seems to be coming unhinged

Underneath it all, I am pitch black

An empty chasm like the eyes of Jack

How this story you have written haunts me like a ghost

How I no longer exist grieves me the most

I realize you had hopes for pearls and ivory

And what I am is stone and ivy

This path I have chosen is forbidden

In all direction guilt trips are given

I place my feelings upon a breeze

to feel the strength return to my knees

No longer weak but icy cold

I'm finally real but no one knows

Underneath lies delicate bones

A crystal heart and writhing moans

Eyes reveal such disappointment

They believe I am fallen and that I'm broken

“These wings you have, they must be stolen!”

Here inside the gray I am safe from harm

The black conceals the mystery of my tender charm

To ward off those who cannot see the angel here

Inside of me

- Carolynn Rogers Larson

THE POETRY OF NIGHEVE

Yesterday

I wished for Yesterday
But like the wind
I tried to grasp its beating
Cyclone heart
In my fevered fingers
And find it snaking from
My fist and flowing free
It falls and catches
The blood and tears flowing
Down my cheek
Flooding the firmament
Like all the Yesterdays
Before and gone
Lost in time
Replaced with Tomorrow's fears

...written by Nigheve/July 1997

Rain
beating down liquid daggers
piercing my flesh
leaving it to shred and bleed
a watery grave
as flesh and tears mingle
in the sweet, acid caress of
rain

...written by Nigheve/July 1997

Blue

The sun kisses the sea
When Blue caresses the horizon
Waves reaching out
To catch the wind
With fingers made of Triton's tears

Tears of mine into fingers flow
For You to catch
Waves reaching in
To caress my Blue heart
Kissed by the Son,
Transforming sea and me

...written by Nigheve/May 1997/#1 of the Colour Series

God bless,
...Nigheve
www.nigheve.com
nigheve@gmail.com

just love to wear black...

i guess i really don't need to explain..this poem i got from a website would be enuf..

WHY BLACK?

I wear black to identify with the culture I love and wish to be associated with.

I wear black because it is my favorite color.

I wear black because it is the most beautiful of all colors and because I feel beautiful in it.

I wear black because it is liberating.

I wear black because it evokes a response of awe. It speaks to the sublime in all of us.

I wear black because it is the color of mourning.

I mourn for the dying world. I mourn for those lost in darkness. I mourn for every victim of violent crime and every casualty of war. I mourn for each senseless act of injustice. I mourn for Him and with Him and I know that He and He alone will comfort me.

And I will wear black until the day when He adorns me in white, until the day when “I see a new heaven and a new earth... the holy city, the new Jerusalem, coming down from God out of heaven, prepared as a bride adorned for her husband.” And I hear “a great voice out of heaven saying, Behold, the tabernacle of God is with people, and he will dwell with them, and they shall be his people, and God himself shall be with them, and be their God. And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away.” Revelation 21: 1–4

I will wear the color of longing until He paints my palette white.

- David Dellman

G O T H FACT...this is soooo Mhe so check dis out!!

this article was taken from the website http://www.gothsforjesus.com/...

What is Goth?
Goth is an underground music subculture. It is a community that is centered around shared musical and clothing tastes. Goths are those who listen to Goth Rock, which sometimes includes Post Punk, "Deathrock," and New Wave music.

What does "underground"/"alternative" mean?
Underground means that the music is not mainstream. You will rarely see a Goth Rock band in the news or on MTV or in a contemporary music store. Goth is alternative because it is a minority scene that provides an alternative to modern mainstream music and fashion.

Where did Goth come from?
The words "Goth"/"Gothic" were first used to describe a Germanic tribe during the Middle Ages that helped bring down the Roman Empire, the terms were later applied to a style of architecture used in building cathedrals, and then it was applied as a term to describe a type of literature from the 1800's (like Edgar Allan Poe, Mary Shelley, Bram Stoker, etc.)
The term "Goth" as we know it today was coined by several different early Goth Rock bands in the late 1970's and early 1980's. Goth Rock bands like Siouxsie & the Banshees, Joy Division, Bauhaus, and UK Decay were called "gothic" enough by the music media, that eventually the label stuck. In 1979, Tony Wilson, on the BBC program "Something Else," described Joy Division's sound as "gothic in comparison with mainstream pop." In the same year, Siouxsie Sioux made the comment that her band's music was moving in a "gothic" direction.
These were the first major uses of the phrase to describe that kind of music.
The Goth scene was first popularized in dance clubs like The Batcave in London. Many Goth bands got their start on a BBC radio program hosted by John Peel.

Why is it called "Goth"?
The term "Goth" as we know it today was coined by several different early Goth Rock bands in the late 1970's and early 1980's. Goth Rock bands like Siouxsie & the Banshees, Joy Division, Bauhaus, and UK Decay were called "gothic" enough by the music media, that eventually the label stuck. In 1979, Tony Wilson, on the BBC program "Something Else," described Joy Division's sound as "gothic in comparison with mainstream pop." In the same year, Siouxsie Sioux made the comment that her band's music was moving in a "gothic" direction.
In 1981, during an interview with UK Decay, the lead singer Abbo described his music as "gothic," which, he explained, is what they called their style of music in England. After a highly successul gig, UK Decay was interviewed by a journalist named Steve Keaton in Belgium. Keaton told UK Decay that their style of music was "gonna become a movement," to which UK Decay responded: "Nah, we'll be gone in six months." Keaton pressed them to give a name to the movement, saying: "It's not punk, it's not dance, or alternative or new pop or mod." Abbo answered, saying: "We're into the whole 'Gothic' Thing," and then proceeded to joke about how his band should have gargoyle-shaped records and only play gigs at cathedrals.
Also, the lead singer of an early Goth Rock band called the SexGang Children, Andi SexGang, used to appear on stage in a big, gothic, warchief outfit. He acquired the nickname "Count Visigoth" because of a joke made by Southern Death Cult frontman, Ian Astbury, and the fans of his band (and ultimately, the fans of the entire genre) came thus to be called "goths".
These were the first major uses of the phrase to describe that kind of music.

Where did the Goth look come from? Why do they wear black?
The Goth Rock culture came out of the 1970's Punk movement. In that movement, it was often popular for fans of a certain band to dress up like the bandmembers (and the bandmembers usually had some pretty unique outfits). Many of the early Goth personalities like Peter Murphy, Siouxsie Sioux, Ian Astbury, and Robert Smith for example, dressed in monochromatic clothing (blacks, greys, and whites), usually had wild spikey hair, and wore pale face makeup with dark eye shadow and lipstick. Consequently, as these early Goth bands gained fans, the early Goth fans began to dress like them. The Goth style started out as very punky and horror-esque. Later, there were some movies that influenced fashion in the Goth culture as well, like Edward Scizzorhands, The Crow, and The Matrix. Into the 1990's, the Goth look has become more genteel for the most part, incorporating a lot of more elegant, Victorian garb.

Why are Goths depressed?
Not all Goths are depressed, just as not all cheerleaders are airheads, not all nerds are ugly, not all surfers are bums with long blond hair. These are stereotypes, which are often very harmful to other people. Granted, some Goths are depressed, but so are non-Goths. There is no empirical data that suggests that people who are involved in Goth culture are more depressed than people involved in any other culture.

Why are Goths focused on death/darkness?
There seems to be a lot of confusion surrounding the Goth aesthetic. Generally, Goth music is distant, brooding, cynical and somewhat hollow sounding. But keep in mind that Goth Rock is an extension of Punk Rock, and so usually Goth music is pretty up-tempo and lively, yet introspective nonetheless. Many Goth Rock bands don't aim to "scare" or "frighten" or "depress," but the music is meant to be unsettling. Siouxsie Sioux said that one of her main goals with her music was to "create tension". This style of music is often misrepresented as being all about "doom and gloom". Most Goths, in fact, have a very good sense of humor, as does a lot of Goth music.

What is Goth music like?
Goth music is a sub-type of Punk Rock and heavily borrows from Post-Punk, New Wave, and Indie music, so actual Goth bands are usually quite up-tempo and lively. Their sound is often somewhat somber and hollow. The singing is usually either very low (like Andrew Eldritch from Sisters of Mercy) or very high pitched (like Andi from the Sex Gang Children). This singing is mostly accompanied by piercing and jangling guitar melodies. And all this is almost always supported by heavy, throbbing tribal drum rhythms. The drums were usually played in a quick, metronome-esque style -- "slow, but fast" as Joy Division's producer, Martin Hannett, infamously put it. Cold, distant synthesizers are thrown in occasionally for good measure. The best way to describe Goth Rock is as a mix between Punk Rock and African/Native American tribal dances. Many Goth Rockers borrowed a lot from Native American culture (Andi Sex-Gang in his warchief garb, Southern Death Cult's song "Apache," and Siouxsie Sioux's monicker for instance).
Goth Rock is not to be confused with the thundering and growling of Hardcore Rock and Black/Death Metal, the loud heaviness of Industrial and EBM, or the obscenities of Shock Rock and some Metal acts.

What's the difference between Goth Rock and Gothic Metal?
A big one. While Goth Rock is a sub-type of 80's Punk Rock that originated mainly in England, Gothic Metal is related to Black/Death Metal that came mostly from Los Angeles, USA. The two are often confused because of the similar names and the similarly dark aesthetics. However, the musical style is vastly different. While Goth Rock is usually lively, introspective and employs a relatively normal singing style, Gothic Metal is heavy, frightening, and aggressive and employs growling, screeching vocals. Gothic Metal will often have soft, ethereal female vocals mixed in with the thundering male vocals. Examples of Gothic Metal bands include: Cradle of Filth, Theatre of Tragedy, Type O Negative, Paradise Lost, Tristania, and Anathema.
Of course, there will always be those bands who have traversed the genre gap. Lacrimosa is an example of a band who started out playing Goth Rock and eventually moved to Goth Metal. However, this does not mean that the genres are one and the same, or even related for that matter.
Those in the Goth Metal culture, it must be noted, are not technically "Goths," as that was a term invented for followers of Goth Rock. The two are not to be confused.

Where can I find Goth music?
As time passes, it seems that it is becoming increasingly difficult to find actual Gothic music. Stores no longer have "Goth" music sections and are now flooded by mistakenly goth labeled bands like Cradle of Filth and Good Charlotte.
Real Goth music can still be found however. The best places to find it are your local used CD stores. You can also find a substantial amount of Goth music at FYE and Circuit City. A handful can be found scattered throughout the music sections of Walmart Supercenters, Best Buy, and Sam Goody (once again, the used CD rack is probably your best bet). The most commonly stocked Goth/Post-punk/New Wave bands you'll find will most likely be The Cure, New Order, Peter Murphy, Dead Can Dance, or Siouxsie & the Banshees. Adam & the Ants (or sometimes just called "Adam Ant"), a Goth/New Romantic band, is fairly common to find also. You might get lucky at Target, Pamida, or other small-time shopping centers, but not very often. "Alternative" stores like Hot Topic and Spencers are actually some of the hardest places to find actual Goth music and they are usually quite pricey, so they are not recommended.
And finally, the easiest place to find the Goth album you want is online. Sites like Amazon.com and Ebay.com have virtually every CD you could ever want. The only downside is that you usually have to use a Paypal account or a credit card, and many people are wary of doing that. However, if you can find a safe and secure website to make transactions, you'll find a plethora of wonderful music at your fingertips. You can also download specific songs for around a dollar per song at sites like Mp3.com.

Is Marilyn Manson Goth?
No, Marilyn Manson is NOT Goth. He is a Metal Shock Rocker and has never claimed to be Goth. Many people (including fans of Manson themselves) mistakenly believe that Manson and his music are Gothic. However, contrary to what angsty little teenagers and misinformed media may say, Marilyn Manson is NOT Goth and any true Goth will tell you the same thing. Other bands that are sometimes called Goth but are actually not Goth are: Slipknot, Incubus, Korn, Linkin Park, Good Charlotte, Evanescence, Avril Lavigne, Lacuna Coil, Alice Cooper, KISS, Cradle of Filth, etc. None of those are Goth bands. In fact, most of those bands are often on MTV or in popular music media, and thus are not underground, and thus are not Goth (because Goth is an underground subculture).

Is Goth Satanic or Pagan?
Goth music and Goth clothing do not come from Satanism or Paganism. Most Goths are not either Pagans or Satanists. Some Goths may happen to be, but many non-Goths are Satanists and Pagans as well. Goth is an artistic movement centered around music and fashion.

What religion are Goths?
Goths come from every walk of life and from every religion. Goth itself is not a religion, it is merely a type of music and a style of clothing and appearance. Some research indicates that the majority of Goths are actually Christians, at least nominally.

Is Goth a Cry for Help?
In short, No. Goth is not a cry for help. However, one must be careful in dealing with people who may be trying to get attention because they are suicidal or depressed. Some real cries for help to watch out for are: Long-lasting depression, losing interest in favorite activities, giving away massive amounts of their possessions, a feeling of utter hopelessness about the future, constant putting down of self, etc.
Unfortunately many of these real warning signs are passed up because people are too focused on music genres and clothing styles. Wearing black and listening to Goth Rock is rarely a cry for help, it is mostly just a matter of personal preferences. Www.metanoia.org/suicide/ is a great site to visit if you or someone you know is suicidal or depressed.
There is no empirical data that shows that suicide or depression are more common amongst Goths than amongst other people.

Do Goths drink / do drugs?
No, there is no empirical data that shows that those involved in Goth culture do more drugs, drink more alcohol, or smoke more than non-Goths.

Are Goths sexually deviant?
There is some confusion here because some of the clothing fashion in Goth culture is also used in Sex or Sado-Masochism culture. Collars, bondage clothing, chains, straps, and buckles are often worn by Goths, but not as a symbol of any sort of sexual deviance. It's all just a matter of style and what the person thinks looks good. Granted, there are some Goths who are sexually deviant, but there are just as many non-Goths if not more.

Aren't Goths school shooters?
Once again, this is a common misconception and a dangerous stereotype. After the Columbine shootings, the media had to quickly find a short, easy answer as to why this happened. They overlooked obvious causes like the fact that these kids were picked on and rejected by their peers, they had easy access to weapons, they were involved in dangerous philosophies like Naziism, and the fact that they were very angry and hopeless for the fact that they wore black trenchcoats. First of all, trenchcoats and the color black are certainly not limited to Goth culture. Many other movements incorporate these things like Metal, Industrial, Ravers, etc.
It doesn't take much common sense to see that there are infinitely more non-Goth murderers than there are Goth murderers. In fact, Goths in general are very tolerant, accepting, and passive, not aggressive or angry.

Why do people become Goths?
Some people choose to identify with Goth culture because they enjoy the music, because they enjoy the social life and the other people involved in the culture, and because they are attracted to the Goth style of clothing. Depression and suicidalness does not attract people to Goth, simply because most bands are not depressing -- introspective, unsettling and strange perhaps, but not depressing.

How does one become Goth?
There are no ceremonies or rituals that "make someone Goth" or initiate someone into Goth culture. In fact, many people aren't even sure what it is that makes a person a "Goth". Some people might listen to Goth music, but not dress Goth. Some may dress Goth, but not listen to the music. Even many Goths are unsure of what makes them Goths. Most generally agree that it is a combination of being a fan of the music, having a certain appearance style, being knowledgeable about the Goth culture, and being socially involved in the culture. And of course, one could still be all of those things and not be Goth, because being Goth involves a self-declaration. If someone doesn't want to be Goth, then they're not, but they can still listen to that style of music and dress in that way. A Goth has to actually want to be called Goth.

Can Christians be Goth?
Yes, Goth is amoral, meaning that it does not make someone either better or worse. It is just a matter of personal preference -- musical and fashion tastes. Goth itself is not a religion and there is no one religion that all Goths follow.

What do I do if someone becomes Goth?
My suggestion is to support them in that decision and to try to objectively understand their tastes and preferences. Please do not use misconceptions and stereotypes that people have fed you over the years to decide your viewpoint concerning someone who becomes a Goth.