A VICTIM OR A VICTOR? YOU HAVE THE POWER TO CHOOSE

Right now, I just wanna be in control..I just realize that I am so cruel to myself. Yeah I’ve been hurt by so many pipol and treated like a piece of crap and shit… I know I can’t easily move on.. But I don’t wanna get revenge with this hatred that I feel for them.. Sometimes, I realize that I can be so numb, never care what will they feel..Oh my!! I don’t wanna be a psychopath!!! I want this over and done…

Now I choose to be a victor and not a victim… I don’t want to let it happen again.. Now I will take charge of myself.. Oh how I wish I will not hold nor bear any stains of grudge against them..Wait a minute..one at a time first… I need to deal with my old pains.. I wanna move on.. I wanna put them aside for they are one of the obstacles that keep my away from achieving my personal significance. And I wanna start it right now at this gloomy day.. It’s a good start to at least stay away first on hurting pipol…

I remember the book I read, its about achieving healthy relationship with other pipol written by my fave author John Maxwell..hurt pipol are hurting pipol… I was hurt that is why I have the tendency to hurt too.. And vice versa.. But the good thing is, at least I am learning to see things from the perspective of other pipol.. Its also written on his book entitled Winning with People.. Woah!! I congratulate myself for I was able to inculcate this learning and transcend it to the fabrics of my life… Sometimes you really need to see it from the perspective of others..

Yes, I have to admit that I have the tendency to get even with them but I know it won’t work out.. There are pipol hum I wanna let them know how much they hurt me..But to others, I just prefer to stay away from them. I don’t wanna see them.. But Im working on my hate or enmity towards them.. I just wann forgive them and move on.. And finally thank them for hurting me because I know that I can learn sumthing from them that I may never realize yet.. But I sumhow owe it to them..

Jesus said to love your enemies.. He also said that wen they curse you, bless them.. Oh its darn hard..Im not here to talk about religions.. But what Jesus is saying is true and practical. It is only by loving and forgiving them you can find the authentic inner peace. What is then the reward if you will only love your frends and those hu love you? Makes sense? Hmmm..well I am not hir to really discuss the teaching of the Bible but Jesus Christ is right after all…I have to love them..But I have to admit its tooooooooooooooo damn haaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrdddddddd…aaarrrrrrrggghhhhh!!!!!its like saying NO WAY HIGHWAY!!!!!!!

But it’s the only way…To make it easier, just do it for yourself first and not for them..After all this is the very first rison why you will do it.. You need to erase all the negative emotional baggage that will hamper you to achieve what you want. HATE for OTHER will only poison you soul, you personality, including your overall perspective about the world..

NOW STOP!!!I don’t want to entertain them…. And I can do it!! Yeah!!!

For the meantime, I wanna take charge of myself.. I wanna heal..But healing should start on your desire to be healed, to move on, and to forgive others to start your new life and to live life that was meant for you..

I am now in control.. I wanna take charge.. I don’t wanna blame different persons for what I am and for what I cannot do.. I don’t wanna be a victim..

Right now, I am claiming that this VICTORY IS MINE THIS TIME BY GOD’S WILL…This is what I choose.. This is the freedom God has given to me and I need to be a responsible steward of this freedom He has give to me……