well, im in good mood to write now..im just enjoying the level of freedom that i have right now.. i felt so D-A-M-N PRETTY!!... i guess wen u allow yourself to feel that you're ugly and you keep on comparing yourself with others, you will be disappointed..
i guess i just really need a self search wen i always do this.. i always think and analzye.. i guess i just need to savor this moment..
i dont know why i felt so damn pretty..haha!! after d destructions, the ups and downs.. well i guess these negative elements don't have a place here in my column.. i just realize that wen you are someone, a woman of darn substance, no man will ever forget you no matter how bastard or son-0f-a-bitch he is... how much if man learns how to appreciate a woman.. well, i guess i really need to experience the feeling of being ugly so that i will appreciate myslef more..
mwah!!i felt so darn cute!!hihihi!! not physically, but emotionally.. sometimes its really your emotions that will really put you in deep shit!
before you can love a man, you need to love youself, first as a woman, you'll be admired naturally.. it will truly show....you really dont need to be admired though but they will, naturally... just stay sweet, simple and confident..
woman, u're more than just your pair of tits, an adorable pussy to lust and drool over, more than just a pretty creation in a facade of makeups and lipsticks..
you are more than that.. you deserve to be respected, lover, admired, and adored,
because you're a woman that you are..
show the real you as a woman, your confidence, sweetness, and of course your sweet smile..
it can really lift up a downhearted soul...
so woman, keep shinin' and stay naturally beautiful as you are always!!!
Friday, September 21, 2007
i feel so darn pretty today
Wednesday, September 12, 2007
its time to be corn...
If I Let You Go Lyrics
day after day
time pass away
and I just can't get you off my mind
nobody knows
I hide it inside
I keep on searching but i can't find
the courage to show
to letting you know
I've never felt so much love before
and once again I'm thinkin' about
takin' the easy way out
but if I let you go
I will never know
what my life would be
holding you close to me
will I ever see
you smiling back at me
oh yeah
how will I know
if I let you go
night after night
I hear myself say
why can't this feeling just fade away
there's no one like you
you speak to my heart
it's such a shame
we're worlds apart
I'm too shy to ask
I'm too proud to lose
but sooner or later I've gotta choose
and once again
I'm thinkin' about
taking the easy way out
but if I let you go
I will never know
what my life would be
holding you close to me
will I ever see
you smiling back at me
oh yeah
how will I know
if I let you go
if I let you go, oh baby
oooh
yEaH!!!proBabLy yOu can LaUgh @ mY aSS wHile reAding ThiS bUt don’t giVe a fUckIng dAMn…
beCauSe im DoIn d SamE tHiNg..LOL!!!
it’s C-R-A-Z-Y, but it really FeLt dAmn GuD!!
We’LL I GuEss Im jUst a frIggin UnPredictable.. OnE momenT Ur HaPpy and aNother minute
I Guess I Just ned to savor it..KarL is rIght..Wyl ItS deR..juSt enjoy it..enJoy d feeling..donT suppress It..beCause You’Ll never know if YoU’Ll stiL feEl tHem aGain n d nEar future..
You’Ll never know if sumeone’s gonna make those emotions for you.. you’ll never know..you;ll never KnOW if its gonna Last for a Lifetime..
bRendAn..you have no idea what the fucking hell
beCausE of you..one day I BecoMe a Sucker for OPM songs-which is soooo unMhe…
particularly with “Sundo” by Imago..I even tried to find it on my workmate coz I don’t have it on my pc!!!! Its soo uncooly cool!!!!whew!!!
aNd now, d stuffs I never heard a long time ago are coming back to me now..whew!!im a sucker for boybands a long time ago..before becoming a self-proclaimed rock addicto…
how uncool!!im too early for regression!!!that’s suppose to happen to me when I turned 60 or 70 FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!!!!
Well, I guess I just need to be thankful that im still a normal bitch who happens to feel this way..i felt this a long time ago..wen I was a teenager..i tot no man would ever manage to do what im feeling right now..i tot dis tickling emotions are dead, a long time ago…now I realize that I was wrong…
Once again im thinking about
Taking the easy way out…
Yeah..coz I really want to get you off mind, totally get rid you out of my system..but I cant…
The courage to show of letting you know…
night after night
I hear myself say
why can't this feeling just fade away
there's no one like you
you speak to my heart
it's such a shame
we're worlds apart
yeah..its stupid, we’re wolds apart..im hir in
just enjoy d moment..enjoy d feeling for now..have fun..keep him as an inspiration..dont expect for anything and wish for the best..
there’s nothing wrong with this feeling..there’s nothing wrong with the men we fall in love with..just don’t make ourselves miserable because if them..
Monday, September 10, 2007
poems of morbid and painful awakening
PRISONER OF FREEDOM
by Jason “The Saj” J. Epperson
I once was a free man
My mind was my own
Creating and thinking, are things I had known.
I once was a free man
My heart was my own
Sorrow and love, are things I had known.
I hiked through dense forests, and sailed the rough sea
With torrents of rain and the wind howling at me
It was here that I knew,
I knew I was free.
Now I am a prisoner
Nothing my own
Creating and thinking, to me are unknown.
Now I am a prisoner
Nothing my own
Sorrow and love, to me are unknown.
I walk through abhorrent creations of man,
Painted brick walls, part of an expanse of dimly lit halls.
It was here that I knew,
I knew I was not free.
I see a man in a nightmare
His mind not his own.
Thoughts in captivity, the outside unknown
I see a man in a nightmare
His heart not his own
The freedom to love to him is unknown
He lives life in a cubicle cell, which often resembles a painting of hell.
Silence so sacred, to utter a word, even to smile would be considered absurd.
It was here that he knew,
He knew he was not free.
A POEM
by Leighanne Quinn
Some things are indescribable with things of the heart.
But remembering memories ties the bounds of the weakness at heart.
I remember those times,
The times when I was lonely and thought of only darkness.
I remember you were there,
scaring away the ravaging beasts that fought for my soul.
I remember the time when I rocked back and forth with insanity,
trying to force the damaging thoughts away from my mind...
you were there.
Spreading your light and burning the beady little eyes of the
demons that were ripping at my soul.
I remember 9/11.
I remember the fear.
I remember the chaos.
I remember your love.
I remember thinking that I could call on you and you would immediately be there.
I remember thinking, there would be no fear if I were in that situation, because you
would guide me to my home.
I know now of blasphemy.
The same evil thoughts that contaminate children's and adult's minds alike.
I know that they lose site of you, but you never lose site of them.
Guiding them,
keeping your neglected heart beating inside of them.
I still remember things not so pleasant that had to come.
I remember the rampages,
I remember the fights,
I remember the fear,
I remember the tears.
I also remember you, My God, saving me from an unkempt mind.
I may not have a home here, but I know that you are my God, you are my family,
you are my home.
I see now, of your love.
I see now of your heart.
I see now that the very hearts, blood, and soul that are in us all...
is actually the effect of you giving up your son.
PSALM OF THE SHADOW DWELLER
aint my wings with blood O Lord
So that I may attract the lost and abandoned
Paint my wings with blood O Lord
So that I may show the freaks and misfits
That they belong
That they have a home
That they are loved
Paint my wings with blood O Lord
So that I may remember the one who shed it for me!
Paint my wings with blood O Lord
So that I may be corrupt no more!
Paint my wings with blood O Lord
Because right now,
You're all I ever want!
You're all I ever have!
You're all I ever need!
Without You O Lord
I am nothing!
But with You O Lord,
I am everything!
- Adam Flanagan
HE IS HER ANGEL
e is the one who heals broken hearts;
He is her angel when the yelling starts.
As she cry's he hold's her tight;
He will protect her when they start to fight.
Seeing through her eyes he saw the knife;
He knew she was going to end her life.
He opened his arms and held her tight;
that's when she began to see the light.
She spoke to him asking if he was God;
He looked at her and said yes with a nod.
He healed her broken heart;
and informed her that they shall never part.
- Heather Finch
IMITATION ANGEL
haven't got time to break down and I don't know how to erase
And there's one too many ghosts that occupy this space
There's a coffin filled with hate buried inside of me
At times I can feel the enmity on the verge of breaking free
It whispers to me, “You are just an imitation, you will never be real...
There's not a single soul that cares how you feel.”
White feathers shedding until they're all gone
Could there be a pedestal of hope to ever stand on?
Imitation angel embracing the darkness
Withered blooms of smiles turn my fear into a harness
I tread softly but beyond this realm I am dead
Like Sally, I am simply in pieces stitched together by a thread
With a faded pink heart sewn against my sleeve
I have found that my past was all make believe
Scribbling on pages flow like a stream beneath a bridge
A door to my soul seems to be coming unhinged
Underneath it all, I am pitch black
An empty chasm like the eyes of Jack
How this story you have written haunts me like a ghost
How I no longer exist grieves me the most
I realize you had hopes for pearls and ivory
And what I am is stone and ivy
This path I have chosen is forbidden
In all direction guilt trips are given
I place my feelings upon a breeze
to feel the strength return to my knees
No longer weak but icy cold
I'm finally real but no one knows
Underneath lies delicate bones
A crystal heart and writhing moans
Eyes reveal such disappointment
They believe I am fallen and that I'm broken
“These wings you have, they must be stolen!”
Here inside the gray I am safe from harm
The black conceals the mystery of my tender charm
To ward off those who cannot see the angel here
Inside of me
- Carolynn Rogers Larson
THE POETRY OF NIGHEVE
Yesterday
I wished for Yesterday
But like the wind
I tried to grasp its beating
Cyclone heart
In my fevered fingers
And find it snaking from
My fist and flowing free
It falls and catches
The blood and tears flowing
Down my cheek
Flooding the firmament
Like all the Yesterdays
Before and gone
Lost in time
Replaced with Tomorrow's fears
...written by Nigheve/July 1997
Rain
beating down liquid daggers
piercing my flesh
leaving it to shred and bleed
a watery grave
as flesh and tears mingle
in the sweet, acid caress of
rain
...written by Nigheve/July 1997
Blue
The sun kisses the sea
When Blue caresses the horizon
Waves reaching out
To catch the wind
With fingers made of Triton's tears
Tears of mine into fingers flow
For You to catch
Waves reaching in
To caress my Blue heart
Kissed by the Son,
Transforming sea and me
...written by Nigheve/May 1997/#1 of the Colour Series
God bless,
...Nigheve
www.nigheve.com
nigheve@gmail.com
just love to wear black...
i guess i really don't need to explain..this poem i got from a website would be enuf..
WHY BLACK?
I wear black to identify with the culture I love and wish to be associated with.
I wear black because it is my favorite color.
I wear black because it is the most beautiful of all colors and because I feel beautiful in it.
I wear black because it is liberating.
I wear black because it evokes a response of awe. It speaks to the sublime in all of us.
I wear black because it is the color of mourning.
I mourn for the dying world. I mourn for those lost in darkness. I mourn for every victim of violent crime and every casualty of war. I mourn for each senseless act of injustice. I mourn for Him and with Him and I know that He and He alone will comfort me.
And I will wear black until the day when He adorns me in white, until the day when “I see a new heaven and a new earth... the holy city, the new Jerusalem, coming down from God out of heaven, prepared as a bride adorned for her husband.” And I hear “a great voice out of heaven saying, Behold, the tabernacle of God is with people, and he will dwell with them, and they shall be his people, and God himself shall be with them, and be their God. And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away.” Revelation 21: 1–4
I will wear the color of longing until He paints my palette white.
- David Dellman
G O T H FACT...this is soooo Mhe so check dis out!!
What does "underground"/"alternative" mean? Where did Goth come from? Why is it called "Goth"? Where did the Goth look come from? Why do they wear black? Why are Goths depressed? Why are Goths focused on death/darkness? What is Goth music like? What's the difference between Goth Rock and Gothic Metal? Where can I find Goth music? Is Marilyn Manson Goth? Is Goth Satanic or Pagan? What religion are Goths? Is Goth a Cry for Help? Aren't Goths school shooters? Can Christians be Goth?
this article was taken from the website http://www.gothsforjesus.com/...
What is Goth?
Goth is an underground music subculture. It is a community that is centered around shared musical and clothing tastes. Goths are those who listen to Goth Rock, which sometimes includes Post Punk, "Deathrock," and New Wave music.
Underground means that the music is not mainstream. You will rarely see a Goth Rock band in the news or on MTV or in a contemporary music store. Goth is alternative because it is a minority scene that provides an alternative to modern mainstream music and fashion.
The words "Goth"/"Gothic" were first used to describe a Germanic tribe during the Middle Ages that helped bring down the Roman Empire, the terms were later applied to a style of architecture used in building cathedrals, and then it was applied as a term to describe a type of literature from the 1800's (like Edgar Allan Poe, Mary Shelley, Bram Stoker, etc.)
The term "Goth" as we know it today was coined by several different early Goth Rock bands in the late 1970's and early 1980's. Goth Rock bands like Siouxsie & the Banshees, Joy Division, Bauhaus, and UK Decay were called "gothic" enough by the music media, that eventually the label stuck. In 1979, Tony Wilson, on the BBC program "Something Else," described Joy Division's sound as "gothic in comparison with mainstream pop." In the same year, Siouxsie Sioux made the comment that her band's music was moving in a "gothic" direction.
These were the first major uses of the phrase to describe that kind of music.
The Goth scene was first popularized in dance clubs like The Batcave in London. Many Goth bands got their start on a BBC radio program hosted by John Peel.
The term "Goth" as we know it today was coined by several different early Goth Rock bands in the late 1970's and early 1980's. Goth Rock bands like Siouxsie & the Banshees, Joy Division, Bauhaus, and UK Decay were called "gothic" enough by the music media, that eventually the label stuck. In 1979, Tony Wilson, on the BBC program "Something Else," described Joy Division's sound as "gothic in comparison with mainstream pop." In the same year, Siouxsie Sioux made the comment that her band's music was moving in a "gothic" direction.
In 1981, during an interview with UK Decay, the lead singer Abbo described his music as "gothic," which, he explained, is what they called their style of music in England. After a highly successul gig, UK Decay was interviewed by a journalist named Steve Keaton in Belgium. Keaton told UK Decay that their style of music was "gonna become a movement," to which UK Decay responded: "Nah, we'll be gone in six months." Keaton pressed them to give a name to the movement, saying: "It's not punk, it's not dance, or alternative or new pop or mod." Abbo answered, saying: "We're into the whole 'Gothic' Thing," and then proceeded to joke about how his band should have gargoyle-shaped records and only play gigs at cathedrals.
Also, the lead singer of an early Goth Rock band called the SexGang Children, Andi SexGang, used to appear on stage in a big, gothic, warchief outfit. He acquired the nickname "Count Visigoth" because of a joke made by Southern Death Cult frontman, Ian Astbury, and the fans of his band (and ultimately, the fans of the entire genre) came thus to be called "goths".
These were the first major uses of the phrase to describe that kind of music.
The Goth Rock culture came out of the 1970's Punk movement. In that movement, it was often popular for fans of a certain band to dress up like the bandmembers (and the bandmembers usually had some pretty unique outfits). Many of the early Goth personalities like Peter Murphy, Siouxsie Sioux, Ian Astbury, and Robert Smith for example, dressed in monochromatic clothing (blacks, greys, and whites), usually had wild spikey hair, and wore pale face makeup with dark eye shadow and lipstick. Consequently, as these early Goth bands gained fans, the early Goth fans began to dress like them. The Goth style started out as very punky and horror-esque. Later, there were some movies that influenced fashion in the Goth culture as well, like Edward Scizzorhands, The Crow, and The Matrix. Into the 1990's, the Goth look has become more genteel for the most part, incorporating a lot of more elegant, Victorian garb.
Not all Goths are depressed, just as not all cheerleaders are airheads, not all nerds are ugly, not all surfers are bums with long blond hair. These are stereotypes, which are often very harmful to other people. Granted, some Goths are depressed, but so are non-Goths. There is no empirical data that suggests that people who are involved in Goth culture are more depressed than people involved in any other culture.
There seems to be a lot of confusion surrounding the Goth aesthetic. Generally, Goth music is distant, brooding, cynical and somewhat hollow sounding. But keep in mind that Goth Rock is an extension of Punk Rock, and so usually Goth music is pretty up-tempo and lively, yet introspective nonetheless. Many Goth Rock bands don't aim to "scare" or "frighten" or "depress," but the music is meant to be unsettling. Siouxsie Sioux said that one of her main goals with her music was to "create tension". This style of music is often misrepresented as being all about "doom and gloom". Most Goths, in fact, have a very good sense of humor, as does a lot of Goth music.
Goth music is a sub-type of Punk Rock and heavily borrows from Post-Punk, New Wave, and Indie music, so actual Goth bands are usually quite up-tempo and lively. Their sound is often somewhat somber and hollow. The singing is usually either very low (like Andrew Eldritch from Sisters of Mercy) or very high pitched (like Andi from the Sex Gang Children). This singing is mostly accompanied by piercing and jangling guitar melodies. And all this is almost always supported by heavy, throbbing tribal drum rhythms. The drums were usually played in a quick, metronome-esque style -- "slow, but fast" as Joy Division's producer, Martin Hannett, infamously put it. Cold, distant synthesizers are thrown in occasionally for good measure. The best way to describe Goth Rock is as a mix between Punk Rock and African/Native American tribal dances. Many Goth Rockers borrowed a lot from Native American culture (Andi Sex-Gang in his warchief garb, Southern Death Cult's song "Apache," and Siouxsie Sioux's monicker for instance).
Goth Rock is not to be confused with the thundering and growling of Hardcore Rock and Black/Death Metal, the loud heaviness of Industrial and EBM, or the obscenities of Shock Rock and some Metal acts.
A big one. While Goth Rock is a sub-type of 80's Punk Rock that originated mainly in England, Gothic Metal is related to Black/Death Metal that came mostly from Los Angeles, USA. The two are often confused because of the similar names and the similarly dark aesthetics. However, the musical style is vastly different. While Goth Rock is usually lively, introspective and employs a relatively normal singing style, Gothic Metal is heavy, frightening, and aggressive and employs growling, screeching vocals. Gothic Metal will often have soft, ethereal female vocals mixed in with the thundering male vocals. Examples of Gothic Metal bands include: Cradle of Filth, Theatre of Tragedy, Type O Negative, Paradise Lost, Tristania, and Anathema.
Of course, there will always be those bands who have traversed the genre gap. Lacrimosa is an example of a band who started out playing Goth Rock and eventually moved to Goth Metal. However, this does not mean that the genres are one and the same, or even related for that matter.
Those in the Goth Metal culture, it must be noted, are not technically "Goths," as that was a term invented for followers of Goth Rock. The two are not to be confused.
As time passes, it seems that it is becoming increasingly difficult to find actual Gothic music. Stores no longer have "Goth" music sections and are now flooded by mistakenly goth labeled bands like Cradle of Filth and Good Charlotte.
Real Goth music can still be found however. The best places to find it are your local used CD stores. You can also find a substantial amount of Goth music at FYE and Circuit City. A handful can be found scattered throughout the music sections of Walmart Supercenters, Best Buy, and Sam Goody (once again, the used CD rack is probably your best bet). The most commonly stocked Goth/Post-punk/New Wave bands you'll find will most likely be The Cure, New Order, Peter Murphy, Dead Can Dance, or Siouxsie & the Banshees. Adam & the Ants (or sometimes just called "Adam Ant"), a Goth/New Romantic band, is fairly common to find also. You might get lucky at Target, Pamida, or other small-time shopping centers, but not very often. "Alternative" stores like Hot Topic and Spencers are actually some of the hardest places to find actual Goth music and they are usually quite pricey, so they are not recommended.
And finally, the easiest place to find the Goth album you want is online. Sites like Amazon.com and Ebay.com have virtually every CD you could ever want. The only downside is that you usually have to use a Paypal account or a credit card, and many people are wary of doing that. However, if you can find a safe and secure website to make transactions, you'll find a plethora of wonderful music at your fingertips. You can also download specific songs for around a dollar per song at sites like Mp3.com.
No, Marilyn Manson is NOT Goth. He is a Metal Shock Rocker and has never claimed to be Goth. Many people (including fans of Manson themselves) mistakenly believe that Manson and his music are Gothic. However, contrary to what angsty little teenagers and misinformed media may say, Marilyn Manson is NOT Goth and any true Goth will tell you the same thing. Other bands that are sometimes called Goth but are actually not Goth are: Slipknot, Incubus, Korn, Linkin Park, Good Charlotte, Evanescence, Avril Lavigne, Lacuna Coil, Alice Cooper, KISS, Cradle of Filth, etc. None of those are Goth bands. In fact, most of those bands are often on MTV or in popular music media, and thus are not underground, and thus are not Goth (because Goth is an underground subculture).
Goth music and Goth clothing do not come from Satanism or Paganism. Most Goths are not either Pagans or Satanists. Some Goths may happen to be, but many non-Goths are Satanists and Pagans as well. Goth is an artistic movement centered around music and fashion.
Goths come from every walk of life and from every religion. Goth itself is not a religion, it is merely a type of music and a style of clothing and appearance. Some research indicates that the majority of Goths are actually Christians, at least nominally.
In short, No. Goth is not a cry for help. However, one must be careful in dealing with people who may be trying to get attention because they are suicidal or depressed. Some real cries for help to watch out for are: Long-lasting depression, losing interest in favorite activities, giving away massive amounts of their possessions, a feeling of utter hopelessness about the future, constant putting down of self, etc.
Unfortunately many of these real warning signs are passed up because people are too focused on music genres and clothing styles. Wearing black and listening to Goth Rock is rarely a cry for help, it is mostly just a matter of personal preferences. Www.metanoia.org/suicide/ is a great site to visit if you or someone you know is suicidal or depressed.
There is no empirical data that shows that suicide or depression are more common amongst Goths than amongst other people.
Do Goths drink / do drugs?
No, there is no empirical data that shows that those involved in Goth culture do more drugs, drink more alcohol, or smoke more than non-Goths.
Are Goths sexually deviant?
There is some confusion here because some of the clothing fashion in Goth culture is also used in Sex or Sado-Masochism culture. Collars, bondage clothing, chains, straps, and buckles are often worn by Goths, but not as a symbol of any sort of sexual deviance. It's all just a matter of style and what the person thinks looks good. Granted, there are some Goths who are sexually deviant, but there are just as many non-Goths if not more.
Once again, this is a common misconception and a dangerous stereotype. After the Columbine shootings, the media had to quickly find a short, easy answer as to why this happened. They overlooked obvious causes like the fact that these kids were picked on and rejected by their peers, they had easy access to weapons, they were involved in dangerous philosophies like Naziism, and the fact that they were very angry and hopeless for the fact that they wore black trenchcoats. First of all, trenchcoats and the color black are certainly not limited to Goth culture. Many other movements incorporate these things like Metal, Industrial, Ravers, etc.
It doesn't take much common sense to see that there are infinitely more non-Goth murderers than there are Goth murderers. In fact, Goths in general are very tolerant, accepting, and passive, not aggressive or angry.
Why do people become Goths?
Some people choose to identify with Goth culture because they enjoy the music, because they enjoy the social life and the other people involved in the culture, and because they are attracted to the Goth style of clothing. Depression and suicidalness does not attract people to Goth, simply because most bands are not depressing -- introspective, unsettling and strange perhaps, but not depressing.
How does one become Goth?
There are no ceremonies or rituals that "make someone Goth" or initiate someone into Goth culture. In fact, many people aren't even sure what it is that makes a person a "Goth". Some people might listen to Goth music, but not dress Goth. Some may dress Goth, but not listen to the music. Even many Goths are unsure of what makes them Goths. Most generally agree that it is a combination of being a fan of the music, having a certain appearance style, being knowledgeable about the Goth culture, and being socially involved in the culture. And of course, one could still be all of those things and not be Goth, because being Goth involves a self-declaration. If someone doesn't want to be Goth, then they're not, but they can still listen to that style of music and dress in that way. A Goth has to actually want to be called Goth.
Yes, Goth is amoral, meaning that it does not make someone either better or worse. It is just a matter of personal preference -- musical and fashion tastes. Goth itself is not a religion and there is no one religion that all Goths follow.
What do I do if someone becomes Goth?
My suggestion is to support them in that decision and to try to objectively understand their tastes and preferences. Please do not use misconceptions and stereotypes that people have fed you over the years to decide your viewpoint concerning someone who becomes a Goth.
Thursday, September 6, 2007
unconditional passion
d past years ive been trying to concentrate on getting the favorable result that i wanna get after d work..well i guess that was a natural instinctive reaction.. hu wants to work hard for nothing? wen we r into sumthing, we are motivated not by what we really want but the result that we're anticipating to reap... but unfortunately, sometimes no matter how hard we try, how effective our strategic plan, failure is always an inevitable outcome.. is there somthing wrong with us? with the situation? or with several factors.. but there are two reprehensible elements for this failure... its either that we put the blame on oursleves or other pipol.. after this frustration comes in, disappointment, desperation, until such time that we loose our stimulant to do our best... sometimes, its much better to ponder on how can we make it again next time rather than to brood over and over again.. its not bad to ponder wt r d things we did to fail.. though sumtimes we can really answer dt, sumtimes, its gud to kip in mind that there are things that you did best but wasnt gud enuf in sum ways..that's life...
but don't u see? our mistakes just help us to be better.. its a paradox and an irony, but our mistakes is frequently beneficial on our part if we allow ourselves to put them on a positive perspective.. i remember my favorite author then, ken blanchard is his name and his book is entitled "make a life not just a living"... in his book he told his reader to focus on the roots not on the fruits.. which is exactly related to what im talking about..
when we do something, we're always focused on getting favorable result.. but what is really important is the reason why we are doing something...doing something that we really love with all our mind, heart, and soul, regardless of the result.. wow!! i now call this unconditional passion...yeah!! got it?!! agree?
sometimes, building this unconditional passion is more rewarding than focusing on the external rewards...so as the intrisic motivation rather than the extrinsic motivation..
wen u do this without expecting in return other than you just simply love it, its more fulfilling, enduring, and rewarding in a thousand ways whatever the result..but of course, there is nothing satisfying than to produce gud results after hard work...
unconditional passion to do your work stands the test of time, keeps you going no matter how tough the situation is... it cultivates your creativity to pursue despite of harsh cimrcutnces brought by people around you, as well as the external environment...
did u feel unconquerable inside? i do.. let the unconditional passion burn inside my heart eternally...