A TEST OF MY CHRISTIAN FAITH…BUT I STAND FIRM!!!!

I was having a conversation with my old online friend. But it turned out to be a test of my Christian faith. Not really seeking a truth. He’s got point all right. I know he’s intelligent. But none of his argument will make me turn away from my Savior. This is faith. Not just belief. I can believe in Jesus Christ but have not faith in Him. Do you wanna know the reason for my faith? Do you wanna know why real Christians stand up for their faith for Jesus?

The answer was simple. JESUS IS REAL. HE IS ALIVE. AND AUTHENTIC CHRISTIANS E-X-P-E-R-I-E-N-C-E JESUS. And I myself can attest to that. He is saying that Bible doesn’t have the origin. I just don’t know if he’s really reading the real bible. Because I am experiencing JESUS through the Bible. Bible is alive because this is the masterpiece of a LIVING GOD!!!!!

I have to admit that I’m just a baby in faith. I may not be too knowledgeable about God. I am not a Bible expert nor quite familiar with all the verses. But I know who is Jesus as a personal Savior and a personal God. I may not be as intelligent like Pharisees when it comes to His word although I have to. But I know how I can introduce Jesus Christ through my personal experience.

Remember what Paul said in 1 Corinthians 13? No matter how excellent he is, but without love, HE IS NOTHING!!!! I choose love over intelligence. And I choose faith over logic if that’s what it takes to know God. I didn’t regret this. If I never give up my intelligence, until now, I’m still lost. I pity those people who admire too much their intelligence but look foolish in the eyes of God. They will never see the kingdom of God. For He hides the pearl from the "intelligent". If etheists, atheists, and other non-Christian religions cannot find Jesus, it is because they can never accept Jesus as their Savior. Well, what a pity for them for they don’t know the truth. It’s ok if I will look pathetic to those who don’t believe in Christ.

LOVE is What d World Needs

You've got the car on your own, a big house, a promising career..it seems that all your dreams are just beyond your easy reach...but something is lacking...

Saint Paul said in 1Corinthians 13:

If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing.

YES...NO MATTER HOW BEST YOU ARE AND SUCCESSFUL YOU CAN BE, BUT WITHOUT LOVE IN YOUR HEART, YOU ARE N-O-T-H-I-N-G...

That's the saddest part of life we had to admit. Even if you have all the wealth and riches in the world, at some point you will never be satisfied. Your end up empty inside...I was reading a small book from my Peruvian friend about LOVE... all about 1Corinthians 13, my favorite bible verse and my favorite quote about LOVE...

So what does Paul says about LOVE?

He said in 1 Corinthians 13:4-7

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Am I patient??? Am I kind??? Am I not envious??? Am I not rude??? Am I self-seeking??? These are just a few tests of love... I realize how hard it is to love a person if I will diligently follow what Paul says... But I have to, and I can by the grace of God.

The greatest challenge for me is to be PATIENT...People who knew me well might agree that I am very impatient.. But God knows how much I'm asking for it..And I can say I'm far from being very very impatient. But hey!! It's not bad!! At least I'm seeing significant progress. And how can I be sooooo rude and stubborn when I'm not yet a Christian...huuuweeeew....I have lots to improve on this area but I know God is guiding me and giving me all the grace to be unrude most especially when my temperature starts to boil straight on my head...

LOVE... this is what the world needs... If only the world can understand what Paul means about LOVE...

Confessions of a Single Lady..sssshhhhh...

It's been a year since my more than six years relationship has ended. And that was confirmed when I saw his friendster avatar a girl beside her. I'm happy he has found a woman who can really love him and fulfill his dreams that I can never accomplish for him. He's got a new life. And so am I...

In fact, I am very much happy with the kind of freedom I have. Freedom in soooo many things. Freedom from pains and headaches ( and I was spared from giving headaches too!!!lols!!) But this freedom I enjoyed much because I am more capable of serving God with all my heart. I don't need to inform somebody about my whereabouts and what I am going to do next, where I go, what I do, all about the things that I need to do when I have a boyfriend. (sigh)...but what a sigh of relief to be finally free of doing those things. I manage my own life without reporting it and informing all the stuffs I do to somebody (my family is an exemption of course)

It's good to be S-I-N-G-L-E!!!!! A lot of my friends who are in relationship wished that they are single. And how I love to tease them, love to make them envious about how I enjoy much being a single. hahahahahaha!!!!! But of course, I know that someday I will marry. This is not yet the right time. For the meantime, I will enjoy this freedom I have...

Aside from the freedom that you enjoy being a single, you have the freedom to expand your horizons when it comes to selection of boys..yeah!!, I MEAN IT!! B-O-Y-S!!! (just proving you am not kidding)... girls, don't settle for anything less!!! don't be desperate to find a cheapskate guy just because you think you're old or this will make you different from your friends. I remember the title of the book I came across when we went to PCBS,

"ITS BETTER TO BE SINGLE THAN TO BE MARRIED WITH AN UNSUITABLE PARTNER". Very true!!!!

hmmmmm, of course there are suitors around me...they are not too many...but I have a great trouble who will be a blessed guy capable of taming my heart... what are you going to do with a good-for-nothing bastard guy? do you still want him to court you...it's up to you..but me???naa-ahhh!!! a big NO-NO!!! what a waste of time for me...i have six suitors, hehe..i told you they are not many... but all of them are the boyfriend material...they are equally good looking, intelligent, professional, with great sense of humor, and they will make you feel you are loved...i can even select from any of them even I'm blind folded..lols!!! and the six became two...aaah good!!! because these two guys are good to be my husband...they are equally good looking as always...lol!!! intelligent, caring, and most of all, a very much passionate lover of Our Savior. which is my main criteria... and i need to choose one... hahahaha.... i will just allow my Heavenly Dad to choose for me..

hahaha..i don't know what will happen next..But i am greatly enjoying being single....See??? Variations keep you alive....lol!!!!

But this is the great freedom that I really much appreciated and value... More time and more concentration on my Savior Jesus Christ.. He had open so many opportunities for me to be closer to Him... He's the most beautiful thing that ever happened to me.. My past is ugly.. But I'm grateful for it because it leads me to where I am... to the loving presence of my sweet Jesus...

A New Perspective of My Ideal Man....(He's Real! Oh my goshhhh!!)

When I was a kid, i was conditioned that prince charming is existing. He came in a dashing suit. He was perfect any girls dreams. He's good looking, rich, intelligent, and very caring...Until I grew up and asking, is there really a Mr. Right? Or a perfect guy perfect for every woman?

My experience had taught me that such man can never exist. Not even my ex boyfriends fit on the profile of Mr. Right. I wish he can be like that. But all the more it makes me darn frustrated and disappointed in the end, not wanting to pursue marriage anymore. If marriage will give me hell, i'd prefer to be single forever rather being with a pain-in-the-ass man for the rest of my life. Maybe I'll give it a shot. But I need to be careful.

My experience before made me think that it's just fine for me not to marry. And why not? I'm used to manage my own life...

Until God has sent me this man unexpectedly. I have my own requirements of my ideal man. Aside from his good character of course, is the way he makes me feel. If he can manage to get my attention the very first time I saw him. He's the kind of guy that will not make me want other men beside me. It's him whom I think 24/7 and he's making me melt like butter every time I think of him. In short, am looking for this kilig factor. Oh! There was a man who made me feel like this..And it fades away...
This emotion is dead a long time ago until a stranger from the internet managed to disrupt my system. I still remember some of my posts about him on this blog:

"There’s nothing wrong with Brendan..its my emotions, doin sumthing wrong with me..but how ironic it felt sooo d**** f***** good.!!! There sumthin wrong with mHe!! D**** you Brenddan!!but ur soooooo m****da********* yummy!! Ur simply irressistable..how I wish ur totally a mother******* SON*********** or a good-for-nothing crazy AS*****…not like this!!! Ur sooo sweet..ur soooo thoughtful.. so gentle..so devastatingly handsome, gorgeous, Hot and ohh darn sexy….i cant blame my fellow specie..you can really inspire such wanting…"

Well, I guess I just need to be thankful that im still a normal b****** who happens to feel this way..i felt this a long time ago..wen I was a teenager..i tot no man would ever manage to do what im feeling right now..i tot dis tickling emotions are dead, a long time ago…now I realize that I was wrong…"
(September 12, 2007) (by the way,please bear with my foul languages..am not a Christian yet that time)...

And how about this from the story I created:

"He’s still the same guy she used to know. Handsome as always… He never failed to make her heart melt like butter every time she sees him. He’s the kind of guy who makes her want to look at his face over and over again. He doesn’t know, but she just loves to look at his lovely sparkling eyes that speak innocence in spite of his blatant arrogance. He is strong and full of confidence for himself. There’s just one thing she hates about him—he can read what she feels and he really finds it pleasurable to tease her! Grrrr… ..oh my! Is she that obvious???"

Hahaha..I can't help but laugh. But I realize how childish my wishes are...

I realize that finding an ideal man is not all about feelings. Because I met this ideal man with the opposite feeling...

But this man is really different from all of them. I used to ignore him before. I consider him a friend. I really don't think about him. And most of all, I really don't take much time and effort to communicate with him.....But I tell you, he is the embodiment of my fantasy. I've seen my ideal man. The Mr. Right for me...
But how????????

Love is Powerful Enough to Change Us

They say that when you’re in love with someone, your life will never be the same. Everything is bright. Everything that you’re doing has a direction. You’re life is full of meaning. And when the going gets tough, you still have the energy to keep pushing until you finally overcome. In spite of the storm, you will learn to smile and shove away the burdens just a thought of that special someone that keeps you alive inside. Oh, how romantic isn’t it? And most of all, you never thought that you will become a better person you never imagined you’re capable of becoming.

February is now approaching and I can feel the big L is in the air. I’m not really a sentimental type neither of person nor into those mushy stuffs. This ain’t my type of personality. But that doesn’t mean I’m stone-hearted, far from that! In spite of my dominance, I still can’t hide my tenderness. I can’t help but show my concern and my longing to be with a person. You know that you are really in love when you know you are willing to give everything that you have. You are willing to give up all the things that are not pleasant for your loved one. No matter how hard it is, you’re willing to take the risk and pay the price even if it’s causing you to die inside. You really can’t love without getting your clothes torn or your halo askew, but this big thing that keeps pumping on your blood, its all worth the effort!

When I fall in love, I gave up everything. Personal ambition, my selfish needs, my own gratification. I even give up the need to be independent and in-control of my life. I used to hate my old self that keeps on hunting me like a nightmare. It cuts my heart with double-edged knife every time I look at her.

But I don’t bother anymore because Someone is loving me more than I hate myself.

I can’t explain the mystery of love. All I know, it is powerful enough to change me and became a person I never thought I could be. It was Him. And He’s worth all my love that I have for Him.

farewell to my popsy

It was a couple of weeks ago when the Beijing Olympics had started and officially opened. August 8, 2008.. This is now a historical date on the sports world. This is the most awaited and anticipated date for everyone who wanted to witness the olympics. I myself get excited too in spite that I am having an SEO training. But this date and event is surely unforgettable for me and my family not because of this event. This is the day when my father died.

It was August 8 2008 when my dad finally surrender his life to the Lord. It was painful...My dad is gone whom I used to call popsy. It's the only me who called him like that. Gone is the father that I used to know. My papa, my popsy, the man of my life is gone.. I am on the process of adjusting and accepting that he's with the Lord now.. I'm so sad.. all the memories are coming back from childhood until now. I'm his princess and he is the prince of my life. He's the reason why I stayed in Legaspi instead of giving myself a break with a promising job in Manila. I know it's just a piece of cake for me! But I reject the opportunity for him. I never regret it. It was worth it that I choose to spend my time with the last days of his life.

I will surely miss you popsy sooooooooo much... I love you my popsypops!! I know you know it.. But i know i can never replace the kind of love that you have for me. You reject the opportnuties abroad just to take good care of me. I know I'm d apple of your eye. I can never imagine the things you've done for me nor the things you sacrifice for me and for my brothers and sisters, but I thank the Lord for giving you to us. You're irreplaceable in our hearts.

My family and I are on the process of moving on... I still can't help myself to cry at night but I know that God is with me through every details of my pain. I know He's there, giving me comfort and the strength that I need. I thank God for He allow us to show to him how much we love him. I thank God for giving me a father like him. so caring and loving for me.. A father who loves to cook meal for me every time I take off to work.. A father who is sweet, funny, and thoughtful... Thank You Lord he is my dad.. I know that he is resting now and is happy now with the Lord...

who never get tired?????

The past few months was too exhausting on me.. I badly need to work while my body and health is compromised.. I have to admit its my fault because I neglect my health.. I became exhausted, mu mind, my body, and my soul.. I really messed up! I made things worse and complicated... in short.. I AM TIRED....

but on the midst of my trouble, all of my exhaustion, i realize that there is Someone who never gets tired of caring and loving you... when we have problems, it's a blessing that you have frends who you can trust and lean.. It's comforting that there are people who you can show your weaker side.. but there is nothing more intimate than to share your deepest hurts and burdens to Someone who is much nearer than your friends... who loves you more than your frends can ever show you.. who loves you just the same even you neglect Him so many times...

He never gets tired... He's the only one who will never ever get tired of loving me in spite of my ugliness, weaknesses, failures, discouragement,....all of me... in the midst of my dark and lonely journey, He's there, pouring me with LOVE and COMFORT... I know that He's there to carry me when I need it... Jesus is the best friend I've ever had.. He's always there to lift me up, wipe away my tears, and carr the burdens I have.. When I get tired...I just remember that I have someone who never get tired of LOVING ME.. it's JESUS.....