TAKING A SIP OF COFFEE IN A MUG

Oh my gosh!dnt let me go back on my torturous system..Oh my!! I don’t wanna go back there. I nid to start this..achive personal significance for the day despite of a gloomy day. I’m so thankful that I have a decent sleep last night. And I wanna thank God for that. Right now I feel sooo nervous..oh heck! Enough! I wanna be completely over with the things that kip on bugging me..

No way!!! I feel so incomplete again but no way!! I don’t wanna go back to that.. No way!! Whew!! Why is that everytime I am going to write I should be writing about him..hahahahaha!!! LOL!! I don’t want to suppress..well I guess I just wanna enjoy it.. But I think I nid to keep away from sumthing that will allow me to remember him more.. Oh how I wish those times..my kagagahan times..haha!!musta nmn un? I cant help but laugh at them most specially at myself.. And now, I don’t wanna deny that this nervousness kip on coming back on me when in fact we just chat yesterday..

Oh hell!! This means that sumthing is wrong w me… I don’t know how will I define it. Eerrrrr…or I think its d bagyo..haha..

But allow me to stick on my personal goal.. Its one of the destruction so I nid to eradicate it out of my system.

I don’t know why my mind is soooo tired yesterday.. Maybe because Im sooo tired of thinking…wew!! I can’t even enjoy because I was bothered by my anxiousness about the typhoon.. Somehow, I know d weather is affecting me. I don’t wanna write nor even post this nonsense entry but this is what’s happening to me right now… I feel so sleepy..

But wait! I remember from the book im reading, in every problem, there is an alternatives that you can choose to do you just have to identify the right move for yah..am I making sense now?? Hmmm. A little??? Better….

How about sipping my favorite coffee??? Why not? So il get back in a minute and lets see whats gonna happen next…

Wow!!Just imagining how my coffee tastes excites me..har har har!!wow!!! its really delicoois..now I feel better… wow!!i congratulate myself again for I am applying what Ive learned from the book Im reading..

When I fell bored early in d morning, sipping my fave coffee is d answer..hahaha..but what happen if coffee is not around?nahhh!!lets just think it when it really happens..haha…

Wow!!Sipping coffee is like sipping the joys of life inspite of our daily adversaries… Its sooo gloomy outside but this coffee helps me to get a little better… and the more you enjoy it, the more you appreciate it..my coffee is like that..d more I drink it the more it taste delicious.. everything that is ordinary can really make a difference it you learn to be a little more appreciative.. just like what im doing with my fave coffee..oh wow!! This is my first time to write about it..hahaha!!now this entry is now making sense..lol!!

Oh how I imagine Jesus Christ is with me.. we’re simply chatting.. or just share this simple coffee to enjoy the company of each other… what will I say to Him? He is not talking to me.. But He continuously sip His coffee but His eyes met mine and just smile.. Well I guess I just have to savor this moment being with me without necessarily talking. Is He doing the same thing???? I don’t want Him to go but I got tongue-tied. I just want to see Him… All of Him.. He knows whats inside my heart..

Now I see a child in me. Too hesitant to reach out to His father but her longing to be with Him is intense… I don’t know what to say… Im just sipping my coffee and just look at Him.. He didn’t say anything. He just look at me.. And say, “I am so near. I was just waiting for you to call me.. I’ve been waiting for you to call my name. Where have you been? Im missing you a lot. I am soo near yet you kip on running away from me.”

I don’t know what to say.. I don’t even know if this is just my imagination or there is sumthing that makes me imagine it.

But right now, I feel this inner peace.. I am not troubled nor bothered for I know that He’s with me…

A VICTIM OR A VICTOR? YOU HAVE THE POWER TO CHOOSE

Right now, I just wanna be in control..I just realize that I am so cruel to myself. Yeah I’ve been hurt by so many pipol and treated like a piece of crap and shit… I know I can’t easily move on.. But I don’t wanna get revenge with this hatred that I feel for them.. Sometimes, I realize that I can be so numb, never care what will they feel..Oh my!! I don’t wanna be a psychopath!!! I want this over and done…

Now I choose to be a victor and not a victim… I don’t want to let it happen again.. Now I will take charge of myself.. Oh how I wish I will not hold nor bear any stains of grudge against them..Wait a minute..one at a time first… I need to deal with my old pains.. I wanna move on.. I wanna put them aside for they are one of the obstacles that keep my away from achieving my personal significance. And I wanna start it right now at this gloomy day.. It’s a good start to at least stay away first on hurting pipol…

I remember the book I read, its about achieving healthy relationship with other pipol written by my fave author John Maxwell..hurt pipol are hurting pipol… I was hurt that is why I have the tendency to hurt too.. And vice versa.. But the good thing is, at least I am learning to see things from the perspective of other pipol.. Its also written on his book entitled Winning with People.. Woah!! I congratulate myself for I was able to inculcate this learning and transcend it to the fabrics of my life… Sometimes you really need to see it from the perspective of others..

Yes, I have to admit that I have the tendency to get even with them but I know it won’t work out.. There are pipol hum I wanna let them know how much they hurt me..But to others, I just prefer to stay away from them. I don’t wanna see them.. But Im working on my hate or enmity towards them.. I just wann forgive them and move on.. And finally thank them for hurting me because I know that I can learn sumthing from them that I may never realize yet.. But I sumhow owe it to them..

Jesus said to love your enemies.. He also said that wen they curse you, bless them.. Oh its darn hard..Im not here to talk about religions.. But what Jesus is saying is true and practical. It is only by loving and forgiving them you can find the authentic inner peace. What is then the reward if you will only love your frends and those hu love you? Makes sense? Hmmm..well I am not hir to really discuss the teaching of the Bible but Jesus Christ is right after all…I have to love them..But I have to admit its tooooooooooooooo damn haaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrdddddddd…aaarrrrrrrggghhhhh!!!!!its like saying NO WAY HIGHWAY!!!!!!!

But it’s the only way…To make it easier, just do it for yourself first and not for them..After all this is the very first rison why you will do it.. You need to erase all the negative emotional baggage that will hamper you to achieve what you want. HATE for OTHER will only poison you soul, you personality, including your overall perspective about the world..

NOW STOP!!!I don’t want to entertain them…. And I can do it!! Yeah!!!

For the meantime, I wanna take charge of myself.. I wanna heal..But healing should start on your desire to be healed, to move on, and to forgive others to start your new life and to live life that was meant for you..

I am now in control.. I wanna take charge.. I don’t wanna blame different persons for what I am and for what I cannot do.. I don’t wanna be a victim..

Right now, I am claiming that this VICTORY IS MINE THIS TIME BY GOD’S WILL…This is what I choose.. This is the freedom God has given to me and I need to be a responsible steward of this freedom He has give to me……

tHe aTTiTuDE oF gRaTiTuDe

Argh!!what the hell is happening to me? I realize how ungrateful I am on my life that I lead.. for the past few weeks I was consumed by hatred to all those people who treats me like shit and piece of crap… what can I do? I didn’t exist to please them.. please HATE, GO AWAY!!! I don’t want you to poison my soul.. the more I hate them, the more I make myself miserable with their bullshits.. I wanted to move on but its not working out.. Lord God please help me forgive them.. I wanted to live a new life.. Please don’t take it away from me..

I wanna be alone.. I don’t wanna hide.. Its just I want to spend time alone..i will not analyze yet.i will stop thinking first..i just want to have a decent rest and sleep..and peace of mind, not piece of mind..hehe..

I know no matter how tough the life is, I should never fail to realize that I am blessed enough with more than I deserve. Despite of the pain that I feel, I know I have more than a million of reasons to be thankful that I am living a meaningful life.. It’s a matter of accepting that life is full of surprises in so many forms.. Its all up to you how r you gonna handle them creatively…

I refuse to welcome this HATE..GO AWAY!!!!! I was greatly stunned with the book that im reading, Make a Life, Not Just a Living.. In everyday life experience, we need to develop the attitude of gratitude.. problems make us tough and creative.. problems teaches us life lessons.. our hurts and troubles helps us how to be humble.. my pain teaches me to be more concern and caring.. my old hurts teaches me to reach out to others more than thinking about myself… being grateful allows me to appreciate the beauty of the life that im living.. im the only one hu has the right to live this by God’ will and plan..

WHEW!!! I can’t believe im breathing again the beauty of my life..its not perfect, its not full of happiness, but I have all the power and creativity to make it worth living in every seconds.. Im soooo grateful that there are people who love me, keep on loving me, and still love me no matter what.. Im soooo grateful that I have a magnificent and great God that incredibly designed it for me.

Not bad!!! I may have hurts.. I may be troubled.. but that won’t stop me from being HAPPY because I know God wants me to be.. thanks for this trouble because it helps me to seek more God..

oh that’s tough!!! It’s the ATTITUDE OF GRATITUDE